No, this post isn't about how to annoy your animated characters, (though if people want it, I can post my methods) it's about how frustrating they can sometimes be in Unity!
Because the characters in the world are specifically supposed to be robots (more details to come soon!), using traditional animated FBX models didn't give the effect I wanted. So, instead what I did was export the characters' bodies separately from their limbs, eyes, and mouth, and animated them using Unity's built-in timeline. This actually worked much better than I had hoped, and allows for that robotic, R2-D2 movement.
Thanks for reading! Judah Mantell, President, MidnightCoffee, Inc.